“i dunno what to say im trying so hard to make us be friends bbut if you wanto take everything i say as hate to you i have no reason to hate you im happy and i have moved on with my life with someone that loves me and thinks the world of me im sorry you got bord of me and i wasnt good enough anymore sorryy you listened to ur friends over me none of this is my fault you hurt and destroyed me i didnt sho it because i hadto be strong for you

but im over that and just wanto move on so when you grow up a little more and get over being angry at me u kno were i am” - shane

okay i don’t even really know where to start. first off, you really have no fucking idea. yeah i know you want to be friends shane but i’ve told you about 5 times now that it’s just not going to happen right now. i am fucked from all of this, yeah, fucking odd right, seeing as i was the one who ended our relationship but as you said yourself that after the break up you realized we weren’t working out, i wasn’t going to live a sugar-coated lie with being with you, i was just the one who took initiative. but just because i broke up with you doesn’t mean i wasn’t hurt, not only did i ‘destroy’ you, i destroyed myself. i feel nothing anymore. i don’t know when or if i ever will feel for someone again.

but the fact that i ‘destroyed you’ and you can love someone 3 weeks after i break up with you was like fucking mallet to my heart. yeah you were obviously soo hurt. i love you okay! i fucking love you, you cunt! and you said that it was all a waste of time after i broke up with you, but it wasn’t to me you fuck! if anything, now, it was a waste of time for me. i obviously didn’t mean that much to you, well not as much as you lead on otherwise i can only assume you’d be in the same emotional fucking, fucking, fuck mess i am. you were my best friend, like you say i am yours yet you have no regard about me in any of this just like when we were together.

just reading what you just wrote to me says it all “sorryy you listened to ur friends over me none of this is my fault you hurt and destroyed me i didnt sho it because i hadto be strong for you” my friends have no fucking influence over my decisions, what the fuck, why would you even?, why would they even? if you knew anything, anything, about me, you know that i do what i want, believe what i want because that is my uninfluenced opinion. you say none of this is your fault, so what? i just broke up with you because i was bored of you? have you ever even listened to anything i’ve ever said to you? obviously i had FUCKING REASONS you FUCKING RETARD!!! FUCK! you are so completely fucking clueless.

you can’t blame me for thinking you were directing hate at me, every single time after we spoke there would be a hateful post somewhere, i just assumed. sorry if it wasn’t directed at me and i over reacted and took it the wrong way. you can keep thinking you weren’t “good enough for my standards” since that’s all you’ll fucking believe anyway since you are never in the wrong. so why would you believe anything else. obviously it’s all my fault.

sorry for feeling so unnecessarily resentful towards you.

oh and if you can’t tell, i’m being fucking sarcastic. 

i’m not fucking happy, everything would have been fine between us eventually, but you don’t have to get angry at me for not wanting to see you right now. sorry, i’m being a childish twat and not seeing you because it would fucking tear me up even more. oh, there’s that sarcasm again. i told you i’d be comfortable with hanging out like friends in time, but not right now so don’t be sending m fucking shit.

you tell me to be happy like i can just flip a switch, for some reason, even when we were together you thought i could just be fine in a day. unlike you i don’t just numb the pain with substance. have a cool fucking life, i don’t want to deal with anymore of this shit. leave me alone and in fucking time i will chill the fuck out.

i don’t care that i’ve posted this so publicly, it saves me explaining it if anyone asks.